LOS ANGELES – Edging will break your brain. Recent research shows that edging to extreme pornographic content will, in fact, “break” your brain. According to a study at the University of Beladale in Racine, Washington, chronic gooners who engage in “goon sessions,” “gooning meet-ups,” and like to “get gooned” become sufficiently brain damaged over time. The reason? PORN!
In a controlled study of seventy patients, those who were subjected to gooning conditions including mutual masturbation sessions for prolonged periods of time, prostrate massaging, pornographic content being streamed on multiple screens, water-based lubrication, sex toys, erotic ASMR soundscapes, and virtual electric masturbation were found drooling in a puddle of their own pre-cum, and were unable to comprehend reality. One male victim was transported to Beladale General Hospital where he undergoing an emergency MRI in connection with brain-bating overload. He claims, and I quote, “I can see the jizz rivers, the pussy dandelions, and the asshole lollipops. I want more!” Thus, it is true. Gooning addiction is real and must be regulated. University officials and those connected to the Society for Safe Gooning Procedures Department are planning a massive media campaign to address this very issue.
Take a look at this girl. She is completely overcome by goon sex and thus, has been left in a state of post-orgasmic nausea brought on by excessive orgasms.
What research continues to show is how brain-damaged a person becomes when they are subjected to too much pornography. The porn hypnotism project is one part of this departmental push. Dr. Gaira Oshimoto had this to say, “It’s only a matter of time before today’s eighteen year olds are broken by porn, before edging breaks their brains, and by the lewd nasty goon smut that pours from their screens and into their very sexual identity. The fluid penetration of perverse modes of sexuality will only grow. Broken youth are the future… the future of smut-gooning fappers and weirdos” Yes, we certainly agree with Dr. Oshimoto.
And you, reader of porn. As you sit there are guiltily stroke your cock to the edge, remember the mushy brains and sweet pussylips of today’s pornographic actress, and of today’s verified amateurs who love to masturbate on cam and goon themselves silly.
A final warning to you. Edging will break your brain. Just like this degenerate goon fuel.